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Random Reviews: Independence Day 2: Regurgitation Score: 3/10

Well the plot looked good on paper. How bored was I??
Well the plot looked good on paper. How bored was I??

This movie was a generous 3/10. The 3 was because of some special effects moments and the final battle was surprisingly funny. I’m not even sure they meant for it to be funny. No spoilers here though. Its almost so cheese ridden that I want you to witness this abomination.

Pros:

  • Jeff mothafukkn¬†Goldblum
  • No WIll Smith (yes thats a pro)
  • Giant Alien running free (you’ll understand if you watch this thing)
  • Most of the¬†special Effects.

Cons:

  • The lighting. This movie was unbearably dark in the first act. I saw fellow movie goers moving their 3D glasses around to fight through the near pitch black scenes. 3D movies have these issues. I prefer regular. Less distractions.

The casting was terrible

  • The president of the USA (Sela Ward) had the stalest delivery since Jennifer Lawrence in Xmen Apocalypse.
Hmmm. There’s a conflict? Nuke it. No no. I’m certain. Nuke everything! I don’t need to think it over. Why aren’t you nuking yet?
  • The actor who plays Will Smith’s son (thank god it’s not Jayden…or is that Jaden?) He just didn’t deliver…and its not his fault.¬†His lines were horrendously cliche. I felt insulted hearing some of the dialogue from his and other co”stars” mouths in this movie. Thor’s brother did a decent job. Hemsworth or whatever his name is. It’s just that the lines given to him were piss poor. Nearly as bad as Will Smith’s son. Private Usher or something.
    And poor Bill Pullman. They tried to make him seem like an old grizzled man. Yet, he isn’t even that old!? A thick beard and walking with a limp wont¬†sell it alone.
    The only forgivable excuse is if the Aliens have been messing with his head for the last 20 years etc.
jessieusher1a
Hi. You won’t be remembering me after this movie.
  • None of these guys or girls are memorable. They also threw in Judd Hirsch and Vivica Fox just for the sake of having them return for the sequel.
    What about that asian pilot and that other dude? The one who is totally into her. Terribly weak.
    Hisch does play a bigger role in this film and a super hilarious moment near the end with his son. They needed to play on these funny, lighter moments more actually.
hirsh
Apparently they felt I deserved a larger role. Well, thats interesting. As I do enjoy a larger amount of money.
  • Jeff Goldblum, as usual, is an awkward¬†yet¬†likeable fellow. So let him be funny. That’s what audiences like about him. Don’t just make him some genius, chaos mathematician like he his in EVERY¬†other movie. It’s not that we mind that¬†but just give us some of that good old Goldblum¬†sass.

There are tons of other cons but I’m typing this on my lunch break. It would take all day.
In closing, I will say this.

Roland Emmerich is a good director.
This movie belongs in the 90s. Times have changed. People have changed. Interests have evolved. Back then you can have sappy speeches like in the original ID4 and (yikes) even Guile’s speech (jean claude van damme) in the live action¬†Street Fighter movie. You could get away with shit like that. Wait a minuteWhy the fuck did they cast Van Damme as¬†the American Guile in the street fighter movie?? Anyways. Lets save that for another rant.
Things like speeches just¬†don’t hold up anymore. Think about it.
When is the last time you saw a moving speech in a recent movie? If it is used well, it can impact a movie strongly. Take a look at the king’s speech. Probably the best example right there.
The taglines¬†I am seeing on all the busses and posters around here say “we will not go quietly.”

They¬†banked¬†so much of this movie on the great speech of the first Independence Day.¬†Maybe this movie should have been called Independence Day 2: The president’s speech.

F#@%¬†this. F#@% everything. I’m done.

3/10

no wait.

3/10

2/10

It’s a 2.

 

You can all do better.
Make better choices.

busss
Yes. This bit of randomness took place at the end of the movie.

Oh. I almost forgot. There is something else that should be stated.
Now, I never want to give Will Smith credit for…well anything really. But he actually won this round. Allow me to explain:
The script most definitely had to go through drastic changes when he opted out of this movie. Suddenly you have to change the dynamic of the movie greatly and it just did NOT recover. They spliced up as much of the movie as they could and this was the end result. Fine Wilford¬†Smith. You win this round. You lost the Wild Wild West round. But the egg is definitely on our faces now.¬†I thought his chemistry with Jeff Goldblum was great in the first ID4. Another thing is all that big willy style humour worked back then. Still works now but not as effective. Shit, maybe i’m just old.
Nahhh.

Oh yeah, there’s going to be a sequel…

Independence spiner

And will I watch it?

You bet your ass I will.

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Waseem The Highlight Reel Khalil

Writer – The Waseem Show